Chapter 30 – She Said Yes!

The funeral was held at Mt. Sinai Memorial Park in Los Angeles on Forest Lawn Drive overlooking Warner Brother’s Studios on Tuesday, November 20^th in the early afternoon. It was only fitting that my dad would have a view from his interment of the studio where he spent so much time in life. Driving up the winding road to the wall crypts of Abraham tiled with portraits of famous Jews such as Einstein, George Gershwin and many others was a surreal experience. The mosaic depicts the history of Jewish people in America from 1654 to the present. My mother was still in a state of shock and my sister, brother and I had to keep it together for her the best we could without falling apart at the seams. I have to thank Donna for her part in holding my hand and guiding me through the service. My dad loved Donna and, even though she wasn’t Jewish, thought she was a terrific woman who was perfect for me. They are so much alike. They both love a good bargain and are both hard working, level headed, no nonsense people. He would have been proud to know we are man and wife and are still very much in love.

I had written a song when I was eighteen called, My Final Bow, and I was asked to play it at the service in the small synagogue. The first verse and chorus went:

Curtain up and all is open and now the fool that lives inside                       me must go on. Lights turn on, the stage door opens. I’d like                               to take my final bow and then be gone.

It’s such a task to wear the mask that covers up the face you                       think you see.

 Haven’t you a single clue that what you really see is only me?

 I had no idea how I was going to get through it without breaking up, but I did. Afterwards I was told by the mourners that it was one of the more moving and emotional moments they had ever experienced. They marveled at how an eighteen year old could write such a song that was far beyond the depth of his years. I later explained that writing songs is like fishing. You just have to throw your line in the water and be there to pull the fish out before it gets away. That was one big fish I caught that day. I don’t even remember singing and playing it—I guess I was on automatic pilot.

After the service everyone was invited back to the house on Canton Drive in Studio City to sit Shiva and partake in the celebration of my father’s life. I heard so many stories about my dad that I had never known. My Uncle Ellis told me of the time my dad came back to St. Louis from World War II and how everything had changed. His father, my grandfather Joe Flieg, (my dad’s real name was Haymer Lionel Flieg) had been killed in 1946 when he was hit by a train trying to make a delivery to a chain of small kiosks in the Mid-West. It was around sunrise and he was driving all night and had fallen asleep at the wheel. I was named after my paternal grandfather who I never had met. So many stories were told of his love of show business and how he worshipped the ground my mother walked upon. He used to brag about his kids all the time and I felt honored to be his son.

The week after my dad’s passing I knew that life was for keeps. I was in our bedroom in our 600 square foot apartment on Vine Street with Donna by my side. I don’t remember if we just had dinner or were watching TV but I said, “Donna, I want to take you downtown and buy you a ring.” That was my proposal. I didn’t get down on one knee like a knight in shining armor; I didn’t have a chilled glass of champagne or any of the other romantic protocol that gentlemen are supposed to employ to win the heart of his beloved. Still she said. “Yes!” I did hold her gently and sealed the agreement with a loving, passionate kiss. Now the words I had spoken to her in Pitlochry were not just idle ramblings. I had made good on my oath and was the happiest person I could be be—which is saying a lot for me.

The next day we drove downtown and met with Beverly Hills High School alumni, Steve Safan, who graduated in the same year as me. His father had a jewelry store in the diamond district in downtown Los Angeles, and he showed us a variety of rings. At first I didn’t want to get a ring thinking it would interfere with my guitar playing or I would take it off and lose it. But after seeing the selection of rings, I thought a plain gold band was all that I required. I actually liked it. The funny thing is, I haven’t taken that ring off in twenty four years. I’m not sure if it would even come off now without surgery. Donna’s selection was a beautiful double ring set; one engagement in a single diamond setting and the other a wedding band with a small but exquisite inlaid diamonds wrapped around a golden band. They weren’t the most expensive rings but they weren’t exactly Diet Pepsi ring tops either.

Later that night we were looking in Sidney Omar’s astrological forecast in the L.A. Times under our particular signs. It read for Scorpio: Cycle high, timing is on target, dramatic confrontation lends spice. Circumstances suddenly turn in your favor. Member of the opposite sex declares. “I would be with you anywhere!”

Taurus: You no longer will be traveling alone. There will be ties, legal and otherwise. This is an excellent time for forming partnerships, considering marital status. No lie, this really was our forecast! We cut the clipping out and it still resides in the photo album of our early history together.

I knew that this was the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. The woman I wanted to have children with and grow old with. I, of course, would grow old a little faster being almost twelve years her senior, but she still calls me her old teenager, maybe now I’ve graduated to being a twenty-something.

Now it was time for her to break the news to her mum and dad in Scotland and I was a bit nervous about how they would receive the news.

“Hello mum, it’s Donna.”

“Oh hello Donna, how are things?”

“Fine. How’s dad?”

“Just fine. He’s oot with the motorbike trials in Fort William. He should be back directly after tea.”

“Guess what? James and I are officially engaged.” There was a brief moment of silence. Olive Smollett was in two minds and Donna could tell. She wanted what was best for her eldest daughter and of course she wanted her to be happy, but marrying an American meant that she would live over five thousand miles away.

“Oh heavens above,” Olive gasped. “I wisny expecting that so soon.  Yer dad will be as pleased as punch. I canny wait to tell him. Do you ken when the big day will be?”

“We’re thinking in June and James mentioned having it over there in Scotland,” Donna said while picking up the phone and carrying it into the living room. She didn’t feel comfortable with me eavesdropping in case something negative was said. “But it will have to be a church that will condone a mixed marriage since he is Jewish.”

“Aye that’s right. No worries, I’ll find ya one close by. It will be brilliant.”

The conversation digressed to the weather and the health of all he relatives and then Donna told her mum to put a list of all the Scottish folk that would be invited. I was listening to my fiancée’s side of the dialogue and I could tell that the news was received well. One down and one to go.

After Donna got off the phone I called my mom.

“Hello Mom? Are you doing okay?”

“I’m hanging in there.” She sounded weak and tearful and I tried my best to break the news to her as gently as I could. “Susan has been by my side every minute and there’s so much food here you could feed an army. Do you need any turkey or roast beef?”

No we’re good. Listen mom, I wanted to tell you the good news.” I set the scene by telling my mom that since Dad died I had been thinking about my life and what I wanted to do with it. There was no reason to be out in the crazy world of singles bars and night clubs anymore and I knew I had found a girl who was bright, funny, and sweet and above all, she made me happy. I was ready and I knew it. It was time to tie the knot. Even though Donna was almost twelve years younger than me, I knew as we got older the gap in our ages would mean nothing. Sure she didn’t grow up with The Beatles; in fact, she was born the same year they played on The Ed Sullivan Show for the first time. She never saw my wilder side when I was drugging and drinking and carrying on when I was in Silverspoon. That was the good news, but just the same, I felt like she missed a big part of my life and I could never explain to her the craziness that went on in those magical years. But now there was a new magic, a calmer and more grown up magic.

When I told my mom the news it seemed to lift her spirits. I told her we were thinking of having the wedding in Scotland and how it would be great for her and my surviving family to get away from the sadness and the constant reminder of my father’s passing. She was crying again but I couldn’t tell if it was from the thought of how proud my dad would be of me and that he was going to miss his oldest son’s wedding or if it was from happiness of my future plans with a woman that she thought the world of. Maybe it was a little of both. She told me she loved me and turned the phone over to Susan.

“Hi Jimmy.”

“Hey Susan. Is mom doing okay?”

“She’s up and down, mostly down. You should come by tonight and help us eat some of this food before it goes bad.”

“I will. We’ll probably be by tonight. Listen I don’t know if you overheard the news but...Donna and I got engaged.”

Oh my God, really?”

I told her about the plans of having the wedding overseas and at first she thought that I was running away from the problems in L.A. and leaving her and Robbie to be the ones to deal with Mom, but then she became excited when I told her it wasn’t until June. I said it would be a mitzvah to get Mom away from town and that it would be a great idea if the two of them could maybe fly into London and drive up to Scotland. They could tour the countryside and visit Oxford, Stratford-on-Avon and even go back to Birmingham where she spent her sophomore year of college in 1970. She was beginning to like the idea more and more. Then she became silent and I asked her what was wrong.

“Does this mean I am going to lose my favorite brother?”

“No Susan. It means you are gaining a sister-in-law. I’m only getting married there not moving away.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes! Look, I’ll see you later tonight and we’ll talk more about it. Okay?”

“Okay Jimmy. You’re such a good son and a great brother. I love you, Bye.”

“Thanks, I love you too.” I hung up the phone after Susan had said her usual sign off to a conversation complementing me on my duties as a nice Jewish boy who was good to his mother and sister and how I was her favorite. I wasn’t so sure about any of it. The only thing I was sure about was I was making the right choice and there was no turning back now. It was going to be a June wedding and the American contingency was making plans to invade the British Isles. It was going to be beautiful and totally insane!