Chapter 32 – The Knot is Tied

After moving my mother and sister out of the B & B it was time to get hitched. I went to the church or kirk on the green and cleaned myself up in the lavatory sink since I didn’t have time to take another shower. Donna was on the other side of the kirk and, as custom has it, I was not allowed to see her until her Dad walked her down the red carpeted aisle. I was getting nervous and wished my father was there to calm me down. Robbie was my best man but he seemed more nervous than me. I asked him if he still had the ring and he searched his pockets and said he must have lost it. Then he laughed and said he was only kidding. I was in no mood for levity but after a minute he broke up and I laughed along with him. It did ease the tension. Good one.

The sound of pipe organ music echoed through the chambers and I knew the time was nigh. I followed Robbie through the thick wooden doors into the sanctuary and then I see her. She was beatific beyond my wildest expectations. I knew then that I had made the best decision I would ever make in my life. I was ready to get married. I couldn’t help thinking I was the luckiest guy on the planet.

I looked out at the crowd of people who had come from the far reaches of the earth to witness one of the most important days of my entire life. I saw my Uncle Ellis and Aunt Enid dressed to the nines, my sister Susan in a lovely black and white print dress. She looked years younger than her actual age and I am happy to say that she still does. My wee mom looked radiant and overcome with emotion. I was hoping she wasn’t going to faint when Reverend Thompson brought out the cross or said “in Jesus’ name”.  I knew at least I wasn’t going to have to eat the Eucharist or drink the blood of the holy savior. It was, after all, The Church of Scotland not a Catholic cathedral. I saw my sister-in-law, Carol beaming with the glow of a woman knowing that she wasn’t going to be the only one in the family who had married a Haymer. Next to her were Max and the wee bairn, Emily, who would prove to be the star of the show at the upcoming reception at The Dunnikier House Hotel.

On the other side of the aisle were all of Donna’s relatives. Her mum and dad, Olive and David, who were stunningly dresses in traditional British attire, her two sisters, Beverly and Heather, Beverly’s future husband Roy, who was responsible for initiating The Silver Quiach, a golf tournament that one year brought home fifty drunken Scotsman to Pitlochry Links and one sober American who had thought he won it all until Robertson came in with a score of 75, one stroke lower than mine. I was relieved that I didn’t have to drink the traditional Glenlivet from the silver chalice. I was recently sober and had worried about it all that week. I ended up winning a gray Lyle and Scott’s sweater, or as the Brit’s call jumper.

Seated behind them were Donna’s Gran and Uncle Bob, Jessie and Bill Smollett and their son, Billy. The family from the Crossgates  and Cardenden contingency, Uncle Alec and Aunt Sheena and the older of his two son’s Robin and his wife Liz with their two children.

I stood there facing my bride to be as Reverend Thompson spoke his vows of foreverness and love. We responded in kind and before I could run away and hide, which were only idle thoughts self preservation and cowardice, we both had said, “I do.” I slipped the ring Robbie handed me on Donna’s finger and she place the gold band on mine and the deed was done. We were man and wife!

After the ceremony we went down the Glenrothes Town Park to be photographed by the finicky and effeminate Andrew Merridew. The day couldn’t have been more perfect. It had to be in the high seventies and not a cloud in the usually misty or inclement Scottish sky.

The reception was held in the main hall at The Dunnikier House Hotel where Donna and I had a room booked in the honeymoon suite for later to officially consummate our marriage. David and Olive had hired an authentic Scottish band that also played a variety of songs. I was very impressed with them, especially the guitar player who was able to wrestle out a Hank Marvin tone from his Stratocaster. The dances were fun and I even tripped the light fantastic with my new wife and just about everyone else in the room. We paraded to the Dashing White Sergeant, a Scottish country dance n 4/4 time, in the form of a reel. It is a progressive dance is performed by groups of six dancers. Then we broke into The Gay Gordons, where every couple dances the same steps, usually in a circle around the room. Then we moved right along to The Grand Old Duke of York where one of the steps is where Donna’s best friend, Irene improvised a step and as she glided along under my legs she goosed me as I pulled her through. I wondered if that was part of the tradition or if she was just being cheeky under the influence of alcohol—lots of alcohol—typical of a Scottish wedding, but without the proverbial drunk uncle getting up to sing and making a real arse out of himself.

The grand old duke of York

He had ten thousand men

He marched them up to the top of the hill

And he marched them down again

And when they were up they were up

And when they were down they were down

And when they were only half-way up

They were neither up nor down!

Then during the meal an unexpected turn of events happened. Wee Emily fell out of her highchair and landed in her head. She wasn’t moving and it gave everyone in the room a terrible fright. Carol and my Mom rushed over to her to see if she was all right and after a few minutes she was moving around and crying her eyes out. Of course everyone held their collective breath until the wee bairn broke the silence with her wailing. Her mother picked her up and carried her off to their room so they could properly examine Emily and give her a chance to rest up. Robbie followed Carol and so did my mother and Susan. They didn’t come back for over an hour and my brand new in-laws and all of the Scottish folk were a might upset to say the least. They wondered how the Americans could leave the reception knowing that the child was recuperating. They figured it didn’t take a whole army of relatives to see to her well being, just the mom and dad would have been sufficient and the house doctor would see to it that everything was ship shape.

The festivities were winding down around one in the morning and Donna and I were the only ones left at the bar except for the bartender and the cleaning crew. We toasted each other with some Bailey’s for her and a single malt scotch for me. It was then time to retire for the evening and head to our suite.

That night Donna and I have the most amazing “togetherness” and I was so happy I could have died right there and felt like I had done it all. Of course I didn’t want to really die since I had a lot of things I wanted to accomplish, among them was to have at least three children and watch them grow up with Donna by my side. We woke up wrapped in each other’s arms and she still looked beautiful draped in the sunlight streaming through the ancient, arched windows.

We took a walk around the grounds and climbed an old oak tree that must have been a hundred feet high. Of course we didn’t get any higher than ten feet up, but it was grand. It all was perfectly grand. When Donna and I got back to Bilsland Road in Glenrothes the vibes were as thick as black pudding which if you’ve never eaten it, it is like a warm blood clot. Mmmnnnn! I wasn’t sure if my new in-laws were upset about the Haymer’s leaving the party for so long or the fact that their daughter was going to be moving to America and how terribly they would miss her; (I now know somewhat how they feel since my oldest son, Jonathan, has been living in China for over nine months with plans of staying there for as long as six years). I had to focus now on our honeymoon to be spent in Amsterdam and resigned myself to keep a low profile until then. We were finally going to be alone in a completely different country where you could get just about anything you wanted and then some. Did I say alone? Not to be. There would be a note from two uninvited guests waiting for us at the Hotel American in Leidseplein.